- okay i know i just saved you from a burning building and you look beat but are you wearing crocs

OR THIS

- okay i know you just saved me from a burning building and you look beat but are you wearing crocs

- you come into the starbucks i work at in full costume and everyone is freaking out and yeah you might have just fought God himself but there’s still no way in hell i’m giving you your Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar-Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, No Whip™ for free forget about it

- i turned up to comic con in my superhero costume and people don’t think it’s me and keep saying my costume isn’t very accurate???? do you want me to accidentally break your arm

- no i’m not a superhero that’s my twin the only superpower i have is the ability to attract all this unwanted attention

- i’m just a superhero what i do is save the city i never wanted to be invited to walk the red carpet!!!! designer dresses are hella expensive!! i keep this city safe i don’t deserve this

BONUS: no NO i am not sitting next to chris evans at the oscars he’s captain america!!!!!! yes i know he’s acting but he does the superhero thing better than i do!!!!

- hey buddy everyone in the business meeting is staring at you because you left your mask on maybe you should like,,, take it off

- haha yeah right you’re a superhero bro h - diD YOU JUST SHOOT A LASER BEAM AT MY COLLECTOR’S EDITION LIFE-SIZE SCOOBY DOO

- i came in to get cough syrup not take a photo with you for your shop wall please have mercy i’m ill